Note To All Men: Don't hate on a guy to your girl. When you do this, your actually giving him free promo. Trust me, she's intrigued

(via twitter)

Hi,

dunno why I've been sleeping on Solange Knowles... but she is way more innovative than Beyonsense (and the prettier sister)




Toni don’t call no more, Don’t have it on no more
Maybe there is something wrong with his phone
Or maybe it’s mornin’ and the thrill is gone
And I’m not sure if I’m still respected
And I’m not in a rush to feel rejected.
Not by Tony

Tony don’t care no more
He doesn’t want me there no more
And I just want to know what I did wrong
Damn this would make a real good song
And I don’t have these nights too often
I wish I could take my mind off him
But I really like Tony

And he wasn’t just some regular guy
Tony’s actually the other night
Oh why

I could’ve been in love by now
If it wasn’t for Tony
I could’ve been in love by now
If it wasn’t for Tony

Me and Tony don’t speak no more
It’s almost been a week oh no
My how time goes so fast
But I still refuse to call his ass
I remember the way that I reacted
And today’s even more attractive
But I really miss Tony.
But then Tony called me one day
He said that he just called to say hey
And it wasn’t until he called me back
That I realized I needed more than that
I’m alot wiser and a little older
Hey baby it was nice to know ya
Good bye Tony.

Still he wasn’t just some regular guy
Tony’s actually the other night
Oh why

I could’ve been in love by now
If it wasn’t for Tony
I could’ve been in love by now
If it wasn’t for Tony

I don’t go with yesterday no more
Now I’m feeling free (I’m feeling free)
Today and tomorrow told me (what they said)
That’s where I should be (that’s where I should be)
That’s where I should be (so I’m moving)
I’m moving (so I’m moving on)
I’m going, Can’t wait forever (I’m moving on)
I’m going (so I’m moving on)
I’m leaving
I miss you baby

Still he wasn’t just some regular guy
Tony is actually the other night

If it wasn’t for Tony

Got this email from one of my friends and asked for permission to post a bit of it…read below.

Hey,

Since your doing this black book thing, I have a question for you.
What’s up with men and the disappearing act? I met this guy about 4 weeks ago, hit it off, exchanged contact information and got to talking and texting and emailing and everything was cool.

Went out for a date after week one and it was perfect. Said he’d call me for another in a week when he got back into town. He texted (during the day so not a booty text), but no call. I called him (but he told me he hated voicemail so there’s no way of knowing whether or not he even listened to it). The texts continued but still no call AND he doesn’t mention the next date. 1 night, we were going to be at the same party and I mentioned that I’d see him there… he texts later on that he was there but late and didn’t see me…”hope you had a nice night”.

And now, just the odd text here and there.

Why do men do this?


Okay… first all, herlilblackbook was supposed to provide insight into why women do/say things or act the way they do to men. But I’m going to put this out there, because the only thing I can think of is that he’s:

a) married or already attached to another woman
b) married or already attached to another man
c) just not that interested

but fellas help me out, is a drop off that “sudden”? You go from all interested to “hope you had a nice night” Why? I didn’t extract the whole email (it was a lot longer with details about the texts n' stuff), but no, they hadn’t had sex.

Hmmm.

p.s. why do people hate voicemail? I don’t get this…

Hi.

It’s been a while… and you’ve managed to not contact me. But then, a couple of days ago you just couldn’t resist. You “had to reach out” didn’t you? It’s been over 20 years… you think you would’ve figured out what I did 2 years ago: we don’t work. I work on my own (or even with others) you work on your own - and proved that you work very well with others time and time again…

But together?

We. Do. Not. Work.

Points I guess for persistence. No, no points, just me wondering if I should have a peace bond issued (again).

I changed my name, you found me...
I changed my number, you found me...

And now, even after your email I wonder what I should change next? You write that you saw me “walking home”, and suddenly, I want to leave town.

How is that fair or right? What more should I have to change?

Not a fucking thing...I like where I’m at right now. I’m done with the hiding…I’ve grown up and learned my lesson. Have you?

We did learn a lot from each other. For instance, you taught me tolerance and forgiveness… you introduced me to jazz and spoken word…I taught you patience and showed you how to be a better writer... because of you, I don’t trust anyone…because of me, you don’t forgive at all. For all the good we did, we did just as much damage. I’ve apologized and you even said the words “I’m sorry” (which I never expected to hear from you). But then I remember something else I learned because of you: if you have to say you’re sorry, you shouldn’t have done it in the first place.

“Sorry” is now my least favourite word.

So, all “evidence points” to me being “happy”? How the fuck would you know? And then panic sets in. I purposely don’t hang around people who might know you…I don’t put my name out there… so how do you know? Years ago, you told me how you found out things…I’m asking you, don’t.

I refuse to go through that again.

You asked me if I missed you. I don’t. I miss our friendship, which was the best part of our relationship. You were the only person I never had to explain anything to; you got it. You got me (frankly, I don’t think anyone has since). But we can’t be friends because you don’t want to be, remember? You said you wouldn’t be able to bear seeing me happy with someone else. If you can’t bear it, why are you looking for “evidence”?

I know that by contacting me, you are looking for reaction…I don’t know what you were thinking, but you were wrong. I told you I changed, and I’m not her anymore. I will not react, I will not return the call, I will not respond to the email. I cannot do this dance any longer, I’ve forgotten the song…I cannot find the beat…


We are the past. If you want me to be happy… you will leave me in the past.

I told you, the woman you want it out there. She will be the one that you thought was me. She will be the one that shows you how wrong we are for each other. If I could find her and bring her to you, I would. I want you to be happy, but happiness is not with me.

I’m not her.

I love you.
Goodbye.

if this gets airplay...I'm going to throw out my radio

Public Service Announcement: Gentlemen, take note of this song...commit it to memory.
You're welcome.

HLBB

Melanie Fiona - Give It To Me Right

Oh hells no...

Out last night in a few places and having a good time with the girls.

Got to venue number two and start to scope out some choices for my girl (I love to play wingman). We see a few but it's kinda hard as some seem a little more drunk than they should be.

The HE walks in.

Oh. Hello. Almost pulled a 360 degree "Exorcist" with my head to watch him walk by... Alex the bartender is in agreement.

Now, the approach for me is a little more difficult. On behalf of another...no problem! Me? Uh...But, we do move closer to where they are, conveniently enough there's an empty table. But I don't make eye contact or anything. One of his boys approaches my girl to ask where coat check is (uhm...follow the big neon sign that says "coat check"? lol)and they leave and come back - with their coats.

Then the house music comes on and I forget all about HIM (house music is my drug of choice). And then one of his other friends approaches us when we take a break and I'm sitting on a ledge on the wall. I'm in good spirits...then this guy ruins it.
Asks if we're having a good time, then asks if we're from "the suburbs"

What?

I'm a city girl, born and raised. Three weeks ago, I took the GO train for the first time in about 20 years. But I look suburban to your Ed Hardy wearing ass? Strike 1.

He says that his name is Olivier and he's originally from MTL. I mock a broken heart and explain that I'm offended about the suburban remark. I need to know, what about us looked "suburban"? Explains that he hasn't seen us at this club before and that we look "different".

(uh, was here a few weeks ago, the bartender's an old friend, even one of the bouncers knows my ID by heart...I've never seen YOU before)

I point out my snakeskin print pumps (purchased in Montreal)and say "do these look suburban to you?" (he said "a little")

He then tries to guess where I'm from in the city.

Scarborough?
Don Mills?
York Mills?

No. No. No. Strike two.

I say "you're insulting me..." he says "I'm just joking..." I say "this is how you pick up women? With insults?" Because, Chris Rock makes jokes, you're just being dumb sweetie."

My girl is gleefully wondering when the giant cocktail ring on my hand is going to make contact with his face. When I tell him where I live (which, admittedly is a nice 'hood) he says "did you have to think about that for a minute?" (blank stare from me) "oh so you're going to say you live in the rich part of town?"

I look and him and say "strike three."

BATTER UP!

So that's when HE decides to step in. Yes, the original hottie. Asking if we're alright and is his friend bothering us.

Me: "he's insulting"

HE effectively goes in for the block and we start talking. This is so much better!

Wrong.

I tell him my name is Roc (i.e. gave my nickname only)and his response is "oh! Like 'The Rock'? My response was "yes, except I don't cook" (i.e. "do you smell what The Rock is cooking?

Oh! Well what told me to say that? HE went on a 5-minute diatribe about why this is a tragedy. Some highlights:(these are verbatim quotes)

"What about tradition? Rice and Peas? Jerk Chicken?"
"What about passing our culture on to your children? You want to have kids, right?"
"...for instance, I would want my son to know how to fix a roof, repairs around the house and my daughter - not that I'm expecting you to live by the stove, but..."
"I assume you're some sort of African descent mixture, right?"
"I work 9-5...it's good to have a home cooked meal..."
"Oh, you're on some North American bullshit with that 'not cooking' stuff"

At this point, he hasn't even told me his name! He launched right into this.

I AM CANADIAN with Caribbean heritage, both my parents are Black and MY traditions and culture include a lot more than Rice and fucking Peas and Jerk Chicken, it's none of your goddamn business whether or not I want kids and (this I said to him) I work a lot more than 9-5 and I know how to use power tools bitch. Then I said (when I finally got a chance), "oh, when I said I don't cook, you assumed I didn't know how?"

"Yes!"

"oh. I know HOW... I just DON'T"

Then he proceeded to quiz me on what I know how to make. And then suggested that we get friends together to cook a meal - he'll help.

You are put on the disabled list, sit out the rest of the season on the bench, punk.

My poor girl is fending off some others while I have a debate with this sexist shit who finally told me his name, but luckily a dark knight cockblocked with the "I haven't seen you in so long! Gimme a hug" move... bless his heart.

Moral of the story? There isn't one... I just had to vent.

okay, maybe there's two:

1 - don't use insults to pick up a woman... IT DOES NOT WORK
2 - don't openly judge a woman within the first 5 minutes based on an innocuous comment...

oh, okay one more

don't brag about effectively cockblocking your boy to get to me (yes, Batter #2 did this)

SMH

This is for the guys: read carefully, print, email this to others, memorize, because a whole week later, I'm still pissed off.

In a club with friends, walk outside to get some air as it was hotter than summer inside. Come back in and there's dude who motions me to "come here" (i.e. to where he's standing). Even if you are the most gorgeous man on earth, you will NOT get a woman to approach you with that move. Unfortunately, I have to walk past him to get back to my friends (no way around it) so I walk by - as far from him as possible and shake my head "no thanks".

Who told motherfucker that THIS was the signal to grab my wrist and pull me towards him?

Whoa. Remove offending hand and discover the other hand is already on my hip pulling me towards him. Remove offending hand to discover original hand now on my arm and fucker leaning in for a kiss! I untangle myself from Octo-Bastard and quickly make my way back to the gang. This entire exchange took about 10 seconds - this is NOT flirting this is attempted assault.

Go back to my friends but say nothing to the guys in the group as they're the types to confront a guy like this loser - and they knew the owner, which means a scene and I hate scenes.

Standing with one of the guys I spot Octo-Bastard trying to make his way over to me. I immediately throw myself onto my friend, hugging, nestling my head in his shoulder, typical "we're a couple" behaviour; one would think that was a hint. But Octo-Bastard is still watching. So, I start dancing with my friend and I danced like I was getting paid for it... I look up and Octo-Bastard has disappeared.

Things go back to normal until my friend moves about 5 feet away from me. Octo-Bastard is BACK and moving in fast for the kill. I swear I felt like one of those fish on shark week. Unbeknownst to him, my friend sees me tense up and inadvertently cockblocks Octo-Bastard when he steps in front of me and asks "are you okay?" I try to lie and say I'm fine (avoiding a scene), he calls me on it and I tell him not to worry...Octo-Bastard has retreated again.

About a half hour later, we start to leave and file out through the club single file. And yes, there's Octo-Bastard who starts to walk towards me. I put my hand out in protest in a "back off" motion; stupid move on my part. He grabs the wrist and pulls me towards him…my friends did not see that I was separated from the pack (this fucker is a classic predator).
As he pulls me towards him again, viselike grip on wrist and other hand on my waist, he says, "It would be worth your while to stay..."

That's when I disengaged my hand and gave Octo-Bastard a solid shove in the chest and said "NO! FUCK OFF".

An hour later I could STILL feel where his eight hands had been... ick ick ick.

moral of story: DO NOT TOUCH A WOMAN UNLESS SHE INVITES YOU TO! I don't know how many times it has to be said. But do NOT touch her unless she touches you FIRST!
And if you see her dancing/hugging/kissing/flirting with another guy...you DON'T have a chance walk the fuck away!

Ladies: I have attached a composite sketch so that you can recognize this fucker when you’re out.