Guys, when it comes to romance, you can’t just catch a fucking break. To quote Ne-Yo, you love her ‘cause she got her own…but heaven help you if you try to open a door, pay the bill at dinner, or try to fix something in her house, right? Yes, the age of Miss Independent is upon you but then, Keri Hilson says:

Diamonds a girl's best friend, if you can provide them/ I might even act a fool while you're hittin' it…

So Miss Independents are still best friends with Diamonds? What the fuck? I know hunny bunnies, it’s confusing. So, I asked the question via Twitter and email today: is romance/chivalry dead? Well…this is what they’re saying.

Via twitter: romance is probably more dead than chivalry. romance requires thought & effort…not dead but it has a bad case of the swine flu and may not recover in a lot of areas. Prognosis isn't good...And they're not gentlemanly enough these days…I don't think it’s dead. But I think women these days are too independent to always appreciate it…

Via email: It’s dead. Feminism killed it…I don’t think men know how. They think because I like sports that I can’t also like flowers…They don’t know how to be sexy/ flirty, they think 2 a.m. booty calls are sexy. They aren’t…he asked me out via text message. I never responded.

It got me wondering, in this day and age; what IS romance? How do you romance a Miss Independent who wants to go dutch on the bill, open her own doors and stresses that she wants you but doesn’t NEED you?

Well, I think it’s two little words (RELAX! I said TWO not 3 little words…):

Little Luxuries.

Put away your wallets, and take notes…it’s NOT what you’re thinking.

I was told this story today: A guy she’s been out on a few dates with learned that she liked red wine. Knowing that she had a long day at work, he asked if he could stop by for a short visit and maybe bring by a bottle of wine. She said sure… he came by with wine and some chopped logs for her fireplace. He was gonna leave…he didn’t have to.

Our technology allows us to have instant responses, but guys, connections take more time than that. Try calling before texting every once in a while and try, I dunno, leaving a voicemail? The sound of your voice to say I’ll be there in 20 minutes? Much better than the text (even if she texts like she invented the damn thing). I have watched a woman’s face light up when that name appears on the call display…

The key is that these gestures have to be genuine and cannot be something that your buddy did for his girl. Because unless you like polygamy, I’m guessing your girl is not his girl…you have to find out what works for your girl or the girl you’re interested in or the girl you want to sleep with. Whatever means to your ends.

It’s easy to quote Ne-Yo, Maxwell, Robin et all… but make a line like “you can have my heart or we can share it like the last slice” work for you? It has to be sincere, which is why women love that song. Romance is NOT a bouquet of flowers (unless she likes flowers). It’s singing her favourite slow song in her ear when no one else is around…it’s holding her hand instead of your Blackberry in public…it’s greeting her with a slow kiss hello instead of a peck on the cheek…it’s calling her at 2 p.m. to say you want to do nasty things to her instead of at 2 a.m.

This is what I’m being told guys and this is what I mean by little luxuries - she will luxuriate in these moments, these gestures...just as much as the other stuff. It’s about finding out what puts a smile on her face and consistently doing it every time…try it. Tell me how it goes.


xoxo

(or...sometimes she's using you for sex)

If you read the first entry of my Kiss Kiss...Bang Bang series (which is all about sexual interactions), here's the second.

Jump-off (\ˈjəmp\ \ˈȯf\) noun.
a female who is available anytime & anyplace for any type of sexual encounter
(source: urbandictionary.com)

vs.

Butterfinger (\ˈbə-tər\ \ˈfiŋ-gər\) noun.
a male that is not considered boyfriend material but is usually available for a sexual encounter.

"It may not be Godiva...but at least it's Butterfinger..." (From Darling Nicky of darlingnicky999.com)

Yes guys, it's true, don't let the magazines fool you. There are women out there who only want to have sex with you. Whether it's the need for skin to skin contact, an ego boost, or she just can't be bothered to go out and buy batteries...you will be that guy she has in the address book under "S" (even if your name starts with "R")

Sometimes, it's your ex girlfriend, a friend, or that one girl "you hit it off with", but never got around to calling. You bump into her one day and...she doesn't dog you out or pretend that you were in a relationship. After a few moments, you start to reminisce and think "I wonder if that's still available?"

Guess what? She's wondering the same thing. You know why she didn't call/text/stalk your facebook page/BBM/tweet or Ping you? You were okay. Just okay.

She may have acted a fool, but she was acting. She may have invited you to spend the night (or stayed the night) but wasn't trying to have breakfast in the morning. But now, it's been a while since you two "hit it off" and she seems agreeable. Agreeable. Not enthusiastic. Not eager. Agreeable.

Because you know sometimes it's been a while since you've had a really good meal, but you just go to the drive through to get a happy meal? Yeah, well she's been craving Godiva, but here you are with a Butterfinger...so she took it

(Hey, be grateful you're not a butterface)

Now, if it's your ex girlfriend, it's a case of the "devil you know". She will know exactly what to expect...maybe with the added dash of hope that you've learned something in your separation (I'm assuming it was a good break up), or you were a crap boyfriend but the best damn sex she's ever had. But she doesn't want you back. This is referred to amongst women as "backsliding", "trip down memory lane", or "reduce, reuse, recycle".

If it's a friend - please please please tread lightly. My first inclination is to not head down that path at all. I've only witnessed 2 friendships come back from crossing that line. Why is she doing it? Well one of two reasons: she's hoping that sex + friendship = relationship OR that sex + friendship = friends with benefits.

Frankly, I'm always surprised when guys are surprised that women feel this way. *smacks you all upside the head* This is not exclusive to men! Women can and will call you (or wait until you call) and "hit it off" and there. She got what she wanted until the next time she wants it.

Don't take it personally boo...she's just not that into you.

Oh, you didn't know? Yes, sweeties...newsflash: women cheat.

(I wait until you fully absorb that)

Women cheat. Not always. Not often. Usually with a lot of guilt and anger thrown in…but women cheat.

Here's the kicker: women who cheat, do it for the same reasons men do. I know, hard to believe. I'm not talking about playing the field, or a woman celebrating her inner Samantha Jones... I'm talking about your girlfriend, your wife, your boo, stepping out on you.

Why?

Did you not read the part a sentence ago about "same reasons"? Okay. So let me be specific. Your beloved did not turn into a whore overnight. She stepped out on the relationship because she couldn't find what she wanted at home anymore. Frustrated, angry, lonely; these are all very plausible reasons. Do they sound familiar? Of course they do! But, as you might've heard...it's not always about sex. Sure, sex is the end result, (whoooo!) but it could be, oh...FOR THE SAME REASONS YOU GUYS CHEAT! Have you ever done it? Cheated? Think about why you did. Okay. Now we can continue.

If you've never cheated, bravo...ask the other dudes who have why they do it, and we can continue.

Who?

It's not always the obvious...let's get that straight right now. You know the hot guy she works with that you met that day when you picked her up because they were stuck working late? Yeah, he's not prime suspect #1. Women are more subtle than that.You know her best friend, John? The one you thought was gay until she mentioned that John and his girlfriend just broke up? He could be a possibility, but not the first choice either.

But remember that weekend? When you had that fight about quality time or some bullshit like that? When she said she just wanted to have a girl's night out with her friends? You thought "good, I'll go out with the boys, or play NBA 2K10 online"? So she put on a cute top, sexy shoes, her BFF picked her up and she was home by 2:45?

Yeah. Did you ask her how the night went?

If she complained about the bouncer, the price of drinks, assholes hitting on them at the club, you're good. If she talked about how much fun she had, how drinks were comped by the manager, she met some new friends...well then you're okay. Because those lines of communication are open. Your girl got mad, went out and had a few drinks, blew off some steam and had some fun without your ass.

By the way - if she complains about men in any way to you...it's NOT to make you jealous...it's her way of saying "I'm happy I'm with you and not out there fending off these fools week after week".

But, if you get one of the following: "fine", "it was okay", "we had a good time"...she's not telling you something. Maybe that she received and enjoyed the attention of another man. What happens next is entirely up to her. She might've just danced and flirted with a guy or three. She might've had a drink or two purchased for her...how that falls on your personal "cheating/not cheating" scale varies. But she could've very well met someone she's going to put in her "back pocket".

The Back Pocket...that's what I call him. I had a girlfriend who had an on/off thing for two years with her boyfriend. They would fight, she'd call me up and instead of being my wingman, I ended up being hers (she’d leave the ring at home). She accepts the number, they talk...he texts the next day...she responds. They become "friends". She has now put him in her back pocket, just in case. Funny thing is, the last time she did this, the guy and I became friends and she and I no longer speak. I've never had the heart to tell him the girl he was hung up on just kept him in her back pocket until her boyfriend started to act right...

Her boyfriend's problem? Complacency and the inability to communicate.

If you've been complacent and figure "women don't cheat"? She is getting away with it. If you suspect something is up and don't say shit, then she is getting away with it right now. I'm not saying every guy she calls a friend is in her back pocket (and that includes John the not so gay guy) and you shouldn't treat them as such. Stepping to your potential threat is a bad tactical move. If you're wrong, you're screwed. If you're right? You will never get the truth.

How?

Women are MUCH better at the alibi and this is where you guys get cuckolded. If she is going to cheat on you, she'll do it up right. Her back up (a trusted friend) will call to make "plans", pick her up, and if you were to call that friend the next day - the story would be corroborated to the finest detail…without sounding rehearsed. How? We learned how to do this when we had to sneak out of our houses as horny teenaged girls. The code of silence with women is better than corrupt cops, MI5 or the FBI - you will not find out until after the relationship is dead and the file's released.

When?

Again. Not the obvious. She comes home late after a long night of work...she was working late. Mr. Back Pocket is a lunchtime thing, a late-night text or phone call, emails and chat messages (what we now call "emotional cheating"). If she has gone to the next step, then there will be "sleepovers" at the trusted friend’s house, calls from the other room...etc. If you've noticed a pattern of behaviour yet, you're right: women cheat the same way men do - just better. She may have never played Texas Hold 'Em, but her poker face is perfect. Deflection? She will throw in your face the same reasons she's cheating on you without ever admitting to cheating on you. Her accomplice may not be the best friend, so you can’t look there, because we can develop a network of trusted girls with a few sentences. All we have to do is paint you in a bad light and voila, justifiable relationship homicide.

NOT all women cheat (I don’t, so don’t shoot the messenger) but we all know how. How cheating women get away with it? You’re afraid to “pussy out” and ask. You think that by being vulnerable or opening that door that you’re being weak. You’re being stupid and that’s what she’s counting on. That YOU think that by asking how the relationship is going that you’re a punk.

Well, when I ask about her day or her night out, she accuses me of checking up on her! Yeah, if you ask about her life away from you when you think she’s getting away from you. Duh. All of a sudden you’re interested in what we did when previously you zoned out? Thanks for the head’s up…

Disclosure: I had a boyfriend a few years back who hated club and I love(d) dancing. I would go out with my girls and be home well before sunrise. I’d crawl into bed and he’d say (with a smirk) “how many tried to hit on you tonight?” If there were none, I’d say none. If there was any, I’d tell him. He in turn didn’t have to lie when he was going to strip club. We were good. One night, we had a screaming fight. I already had plans and went out. I came home just as the sky was getting light. He was awake…because he wanted to make sure I came home. He wasn’t going to sleep on that situation…

Guys, don’t sleep on the situation. Address it, keep communication open. Because if you don’t, she’s gonna reach in her back pocket…

I know what my opinions are on this but:

A little over 33 minutes is the average length of the average sex session, including foreplay.

source

Agree or Disagree? Post your responses below...

Just read this on Twitter:

@ShottaDru: Anything that bleeds 7days and dont die cant b trusted RT @ItsGigi2u: @SmoovYMF @DJKDawgRD @ShottaDru WE DON'T TRUST YA'LL!!!

I've heard this joke made many times before about women. My first (snarky) inclination is to respond: anything that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die is bloody invincible. I'd like to see your punk ass try it for one month.

But, ladies, we all know the reason behind this assertion: these folks have trust issues. Those cannot be fixed without the aid of a licensed therapist...

Moving on...

Okay.

So Pepsi came out with an app that supposedly helps you score with women. Done in jest to promote their AMP'd energy drink - it has become a the lastest viral "fail" - see for yourself:



First, someone comes out with a Girlfriend Manager (to which I still want to build my response: The Amazing Boyfriend Manager), and now this?

Guys, if you need a hand held device to score or keep a woman (or women in this case)... you need some confidence lessons. You need a date doctor. You need a wingwoman (I feel we're better at it than wingmen)and if you still think a hand held is going to help you be a player, the only thing you're going to be holding in your hand is your... (yeah, that)

p.s. I did download the Pepsi App...it's actually funny (but in a in poor taste kind of way). The one type of woman it doesn't have in all it's profiles? A REAL ONE.

"Age ain't nothing but a number, throwing down ain't nothing but a thing..."

If you're a guy who doesn't know who sang that lyric, or the significance of the producer behind it... keep reading.

One of my girlfriends is a few years younger than me, and in the times we've gone out, I tend to get hit on by younger guys. But that's what I get for a: going to clubs where the only people my age are the management and b: because I still get carded when buying liquor. She jokes that I should become a Puma, but then I looked up the definitions and well, uhm.

If you've been reading regularly (yes, you are, right?!?!), you know about Charlie Brown and why I cannot even think of dating a man younger than me. I keep joking that with my dating track record, I'm destined to be a Cougar (7 more years!)... so it got me thinking: are there any other aspiring Cougars in my peer group? Where are the Pumas?

**crickets**

Sorry BOYS. Yes, boys. I polled friends, and the ladies on Twitter and the news is NOT in your favour:

"I've dated younger and I couldn't deal w/ certain levels of immaturity..."

"Started flirting with this guy in a bar once, turns out I babysat him 10 years ago. Damn those growth spurts..."

" yes I have and I probably won't again."

"Are you considering it again? What happened to the whole "it felt like having a puppy" thing?" (email from a friend...and yes, I did say that)

"yes, and it was quite challenging"

"Experience (as I've learned) is worth more to me than good s-e-x, a fancy education, & looks. The young cats don't have it"

"I thought 'as long as he's legal, cool'...but I couldn't have a decent conversation with him."

"...he asked if I was on the pill, and I when I said no, I use the ring, he thought it was like the withdrawl method..."

"and so far, one point of praise:

"old men are set in their ways, youts are more flexible -tee hee"

Mind you, two of my girlfriends are married (with children and houses and stuff) to men who are a year or two younger...but I think that's as far as it goes. Are we saying that May/September relationships work in reality? Or is Nick Cannon a lucky fucker? I'm gonna go with option B on this one.

What you lack in experience, social graces, sexual technique, and the ability to be able to bring more than a 6 pack of Heineken to a BYOB party... you make up for in enthusiasm. Guess what? She is frustrated - and more than just sexually.

She is emotionally frustrated. She has reached a level in her life where she's got money for both a new pair of shoes AND her phone bill. She cut her hair off, because short hair looks better on her, she's more adventurous in the bed (or the car, the kitchen, the elevator...) because she's not worried about being labelled a slut and she knows that it's okay for her to take control, speak her mind and walk with the swagger that she's earned.

So, she turns to the unmarried/unattached, childless straight men in her peer group and ta-dah!!

**crickets**

They're dating the girls who just turned legal, because after a long day at work, he doesn't feel like being challenged (I'm quoting a friend here - don't shoot the messenger). Or, they're not quite ready for marriage or commitment or kids, which is what women coming up on (or past) 30 are looking for apparently; they just want to have fun. So...after a few years of dating guys who have fallen off their game, don't have phone conversations that last more than 2 minutes, who think that 10 minutes of sex 4 nights a week is a perfectly okay sex life, who'd rather just wait until the movie comes out on DVD... the Puma is created.

Enter you. (figuratively speaking)

BUT, she's just not that into you.

WTF?

You call, she's non-committal. You haven't met her friends - except for that one who was with her the night you met. She corrects your grammar, giggles when you don't know the difference between Argentinan and South African wines or thinks it's cute when you don't get one of her pop culture or song references. You try to make plans for the weekend and she's not sure because she may have to catch up on work (again). She has no Facebook status - fuck it, she doesn't even have Facebook anymore because it was a "time waster"! She thinks your friends' girlfriends are "sweet, really." Again, WTF?

Why is she with you then? Well I mean besides the obvious…and this is where that enthusiasm is a big bonus. But now you feel like you really like her. You ADMIRE all that's she's accomplished, you think she's more intelligent, sexy, and funnier than the girls your age but you can't take it to the next level. What's up? What are you doing wrong?

It’s not what you’ve done wrong, it’s what you have’t done yet. – well that’s my theory.

We're going to go and get some answers for you. Stay tuned...in the meantime, post comments below...

(or how not to use the "unique" approach in order to pick up women)

Well, I've told you about The Gimp and the Pussy Predator I now need tell you about our dance with The Devil. Lucifer approached us as we were standing outside and extended my hand as if to shake it. This was off-putting for some reason, because he didn't say anything, he just stuck out his hand. No smile (well, a little smile), no hello...he just stuck out his hand. I just looked at it. He then turned 30 degrees and without saying anything, offered the hand to Girlfriend #1...she too looked at it. My Friendly Girlfriend was the last person to be offered the hand and she was nice.Thus spake The Devil:

"Hello. I want to become friends with you ladies. How do I do that?"

Girlfriend #1 and I are still staring blankly at him. Trying to figure out his angle, we waited. Thus spake The Devil again:

"My name is 'Luke'. You look nice, and you look nice, and you look nice. I want to be friends. Do you ladies live in Toronto?"

Well, I do, Girlfriend #1 and the Nice Girlfriend don't. He then clarifies that for him, "Toronto" includes not only the GTA, but the surrounding suburbs. The Nice Girlfriend says "so...basically for you,'Toronto' means 'Ontario'...but I take it you're not from Toronto?" (The Devil has an accent) He says:

"No, I am from Heruuul" (damn accent)

We all lean in and ask him to repeat himself.

"HERULL"

What now?

"H-E-L-L. Hell. So will you ladies give me your number so that I can call you and we can become friends?"

Yeah. Just like that. All three of us physically reel back.

Me: "like, seriously? You mean you're from Hell, Alberta? I know that there is a city called Hell somewhere, but..." (NB: It's actually in Michigan)

Him: "No. May I have your numbers?"

Okay, so he's dressed in a blazer (with a pocket square), speaks very formal, has an accent and just said he was from HELL. No explanation, no back story. The last time a guy ever said he was from Hell when he introduced himself to a bunch of women was This Guy.I'm just saying.

Him: "So can you ladies give me advice on how to make friends?"

Me: "you're asking the wrong person man, I'm not nice"

He persists in asking for advice and Girlfriend #1 and I agree that he should befriend friendly people (which we weren't).

Me: "So, Luke is like short for Lucifer?"

Him: "Why are you on this "Lucifer" thing?"

Listen bud, I remember some of the stories before I was kicked out of Sunday School. Don't try to distract me with mind games!

Me: DUDE! You said you were from HELL and you're wondering why I'm asking if you're Lucifer?!?

He makes fun of my outburst and then says, "so, is that it?"

Girlfriend #1: "girl, you need to blog this..."

Nice Girlfriend: "yes, and call it 'I'm in HELL right now'..."

Him: "that is it then."

Yes, Lucifer.That's it. You have failed. What was the moral of the story here? If you're going to go for the "unique" open...SMFH. I have no idea what to say to this! If you are going to try to unique open, be unique...NOT scary. The Jack the Ripper approach is not one to even attempt on Halloween.

Lucifer walked away in defeat and headed West. Or so we thought. A few guys who had been listening to the exchange spoke up to tease us (thanks...). They then point out that Lucifer has headed off defeated. To the East. Wait, we saw him go West. The 3 bandidas look West and...he's not there. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that, poof. He's gone...

Me: "does anyone else smell fire and brimstone?!?!"

Later, Lucifer came back into the club and slipped Girlfriend #1 his number. With a shake of her head, he was dismissed and no, his number was not 416-666-6666. We left the number sitting in the club. I took a picture of it... I may give it to the next person who asks me if I've heard the good word or something. We know who saves souls, who is going to save his game?

Guys - I want to know how you would've done this better...post your responses below!

Seriously?



1. You know how many women probably said "no"?
2. I bet most of the yes's only said yes because it was on camera...

You may want to start with the previous post - The Pussy Predator, as he was friends with The Gimp. While the Predator preyed, The Gimp hobbled along on his crutches, literally. I was confused as to why he would attempt this; it's dangerous to walk on wooden floors with heels (one spilled drink...), why he would attempt it in cast and two crutches, I couldn't tell you. Unless...?

Nah. He wouldn't use it to pick up women as a conversation starter? Would he?

I had to ask. He explained that he was genuinely injured, but that the added bonus was that it was a great conversation starter...in the sense that he didn't have to start conversations. Ooops. Thanks for the announcement that you prefer the passive aggressive approach. Since I had approached him, I couldn't fault his logic. So, I asked "what do you tell them? Saving kittens? Kids from a burning building?"

Him: "yeah! Or I say that I injured it auditioning for reality show about ultimate fighting..."

Nice!

Oh, wait.

Him: (continued) .... "but once they see the body it's obviously a lie."

No, he wasn't a slob. Average actually. The kind of body that knows how to kick a ball or throw a jump shot, but isn't in a league. So why would you ruin the joke with self-deprecation? Oh honey. Work on that self esteem. You already have crutches, don't use the psychological ones.

The "aww shucks" is a definite psychological crutch. I don't really like the "awww shucks" approach, becasuse it's like setting yourself up for failure. You know you're an okay looking guy, but you gotta say that you're no hunk. You went to school, but you're not a genius. You have a little rhythm but you wouldn't make it on to So You Think You Can Dance... okay okay okay! We get it. Dude, we're not Hollywood actresses, models, nuclear scientists or ballerienas. Even if we ARE any of those things, we are talking to you. Don't. Fuck.It. Up.

So, let's re-write history:

"yeah! Or I say that I injured it auditioning for reality show about ultimate fighting..."

A) "...and then Georges St. Pierre sucker punched me."

She doesn't need to know who he is...you just need to show that YOU know what you're talking about. If she does know that he's the current welterweight champion... score!

or

B) "...and then I tripped doing my victory dance"

Sense of humour, shows you know you're joking...

or

C) "...and then I realized, I'm a better lover than a fighter"

Cheesy yes, but delivered the right way...exaggerated wink, a laugh, or if you're feeling really confident, a sexy smile - can make you a contender.

Later on, he did fall...it was expected.His friend, the Pussy Predator and another guy picked him up off the floor. The Predator then went off in search of another girl and The Gimp made his way to a couch near me. I felt bad for him as he removed his walking cast and I offered an Advil (yes, I walk with painkillers, just call me House). He declined, explained that he had a couple of drinks (so he can't mix- good for him), he was expecting to fall and invited me to sit down. So I did. Like I said, he wasn't a creep, a Freak, or a Cockroach. But when I sat down, he proceeded to detail his injuries...fascinating yes, but it's a bloody nightclub. Why are we having a serious discussion when we have to shout? Get the number, invite her for coffee and explain the injury...see?

Of course, there was another self-deprecating comment. Oh honey.

Now, I was tweeting throughout the night, so he thought it would be a good idea to tease me about being a "crackberry addict" and would say "you need to put that down!" Each time he did this, it was when I was by myself and standing off to the sidelines. The 5th and last time he did it, I was actually checking the time, but I just looked at him and said "yeah, but it's an iPhone."

His response? "Oh, I'm not really up on the technology thing"

Okay. That's cool. A lot of people aren't. But if she's holding an iPhone, chances are she's a gadget girl. Someone who likes technology (otherwise, she'd still have a StarTac) DON'T do that...don't talk about how you're not interested in something she is interested in right off the bat. Do you see me walking into a sports bar on a Monday night saying "I don't get football" ? No, because if I wanted to get a guy interested in what else I have to offer, I wouldn't start off by with the stuff we differ on.

Well, I'm not saying that The Gimp was the light of my life or love at first sight, but if he had a better sense of self esteem, he could do so much better. He wasn't a Gimp because he had a busted leg, he was a Gimp because he let his insecurities cripple his game...

Here's to a speedy recovery.

Oh, this is a doozy. If I wasn't there, I would've thought this was made up...out again last night with two of my girls and if you've been following, then you know that this can only go one way.

Picture this: we were at a club called Tokia for a party called Electric Youth. Toika is a small venue; you can easily scan 95% of the room from one spot. Great for intimate parties, a good time, specialty events, but NOT for what the Pussy Predator did:

The Pussy Predator started on his game as soon as he walked in the door, spotting me and my girls at the entrance, he started to throw out compliments and lines as he walked past. I don't know what he said to me, because he actually said it to my breasts. A few minutes later, we were all on the dance floor and right away he went in on my girl. Now, she's nice. Friendly. I'm not. So, for her, if someone says hi, compliments her dancing and dances with her, her attitude is "hey it's a party, we're here to have fun, why do I need to be a bitch?". Me? I don't have an off switch for the bitch.

Remember the sign at the zoo that says "don't feed the animals"? This is what I consider to be feeding the animal. With the Pussy Predator, the slightest smile or gesture is automatically interpreted as a green light. Guys, it is the Pussy Predators of the world that ruin it for you when you try to genuinely approach a girl.

He chatted up my girl...bought her a shot...essentially lined up his prey. BUT why he's just a Predator and not a Player is that he spent no time reading the room, or any signals from my girl. Had he stopped to pay attention, he wouldn't have bothered. He ignored the Mother Hen (me), Miss Disinterested (my other girl) and thought that after 30 seconds of convo, that he had built up a rapport with my girl. Way to go Pedro... You have no game and I now know you suck at foreplay...

When he finally realized that he didn't have a chance...he moved on. To a girl a few feet away. Uhm...dude? Mr. Pussy Predator? WE CAN STILL SEE YOU!!

When that failed, he moved on to another girl: me.

Let me repeat that.

When that failed, he moved on to another girl: me. FAIL FAIL FAIL. Never approach the Mother Hen! Now, you may be thinking that he was trying to butter me up (as he should've been doing) but no, full on with the lines and comments about how I look. I'm guessing he recognized my boobs from 1o minutes ago...

Off he went to the girl across the room, remember: the room is only about 50 steps wide. So I saw that attempt

Then back to the girl at the bar...back to my girl....back to me...over to another girl who was friends with the girl across the room...and on and on. Then, after the photographer took his photo, he tried to dance and chat her up too.

Sigh. But always back to square one. My girl goes outside for a smoke, he's there. She comes inside, he's there. After attempting, and failing to dancing with her, a couple of times, he saw me...yay.

I wear glasses so when I'm dancing, I periodically take them off. So when he saw me, he saw I had no glasses on this time. He asked what happened to them and I held them up, confused. Frankly, I was surprised that he noticed my glasses (I didn't think he was looking that high) He leaned in and said:

"They look good. They're sexy. (dramatic pause, smile) Put 'em on."

Okay, so I'm supposed to oblige to what was a creepy request because...? Your lip is curled in an attempt to look sexy, you made a declaration instead of a request in an effort to sound authorative, and about a minute ago you were trying to whisper in my girl's ear and about 3 minutes before that, you had a girl pressed up against the wall?

Remember, it's a small club... WE CAN ALL SEE YOU!!

It's the law of averages, I understand. The more you hit on, the better your chances. I get it. BUT this only works in a large spaced out venue. When every girl you hit on can see you hit on other girls...you fail. I mean literally every single girl. Probabaly didn't get the names of any of them. He left with his friends and I didn't see him say goodnight to any of his prey...I witnessed him dance, chat up, etc with about 8-10 girls, but leave with his boys.

Guys, if your prey is only the pussy...cool. Just pick a bigger pool to choose from.

About Pussy Predators in general: they are ruining it for everyone else. Girls get the Pussy Predator so many times that when a guy who is really looking to meet her, he get shot down because all she can hear is "I want the pussy!" As my boy D put it when I told him the story, he could ask a girl if she knows where the bathroom is and her response has been "I got a man." He asked where the bathroom was, she heard "I want the pussy!" You know what Pussy Predators get? They get 3 a.m. Girls.

If you are acting like a Predator, read this again and see where you've failed. If you know a Predator, send him the link. He's ruining your game.